And I'd like to give it back in exchange for my sanity.
Do you know what's funny though--if you're a mom, I'll bet this day sounds pretty familiar. I might even venture to say it's pretty normal. Can you relate?
Child A (who has been named as such to protect her identity) woke up nice and early. This caused her worn out old mother to also rise early (but who tried to steal a few extra minutes by turning on a disney movie on her laptop while they both laid in her bed. Which technically might be cheating as a mother, but I like to think of it as creative.)
The morning goes by pretty smoothly. Then comes naptime. The sacred time for mothers everywhere. Child A breaks the sanctity that is naptime and is heard making noises for an unusually long time after being laid down. Mother decides (after just finishing making her sandwich) she might as well get the child up because it is obvious the baby was not actually ready for a nap if she is still awake an hour later (although not crying until the mother finished making her sandwich).
Mother comes into room. Mother shrieks in horror. Baby is covered in poop. I'm sorry to use that term, but really...well that's what it was. Covered in it. On her face. Up and down her legs, arms, and hands. Caked on and dried. (And that is the part where I felt kinda guilty for not checking on her sooner, but then I was overcome by the horror again and the guilt fled.) All over her blankets and multiple stuffed animals (a stuffed bunny was lost in the filming of this scene. May he rest in peace.) Yeah, you get the idea. Baby A holds out diaper as if this is a great gift for entering mother. Mother shrieks again for good measure, holds baby at arms length as it attempts to cuddle her. Mother deposits now sobbing child into tub and hoses child down about twenty times. Then repeats.

Because all bedding is now either a. poopy, or b. packed in some unknown box, mother has to wash everything and postpone nap. Turns out nap never happens. Sandwich is forgotten until later. Child is cranky all afternoon despite mother trying to get her to lay down on her own bed even letting Child A watch chip and dale cartoons (or "tales" as the offending party calls it).
Ends day in Walmart with sobbing child that eventually conks out on aforementioned mother's cushy purse.
These are just the highlights. Today I earned my motherhood purple heart. And that is mostly because this is the second time this week I have been wounded in "baby-taking-off-her-diaper-in the-crib" combat zone.
What have you done today that earned you your mommy stripes? But I must say, even with all of that, I hugged that baby tight when she was clean and cozy in her jammies tonight and felt like the luckiest mommy in town. I would do it all over again tomorrow for that cutie.
Heck at the rate we're going, I probably will. Now excuse me while I go and sanitize up to my elbows.













